I ran wild in the Florida Keys. I was sent down to "get" my sister, who was fucking a Cuban. He was self-employed in the pharmaceutical business. She was staying with two girlfriends of ours, also sisters, in a tiny one-bedroom apartment. So, I flew down to get her, and I stayed.
This apartment was trashed. There were open cans of Chef-Boy-R-Dee ravioli with spoons in it. I found one of my hot rollers in a carton of French onion chip dip. They had a "bladder challenged" Yorkshire terrier named Bubba who'd cry and whine to go outside, but we were all so hungover we'd ignore him until he peed on the floor. Eventually I rigged up a fishing pole so I could open the door wall and lower the little rat three floors down to pee.
We had a phone in the apartment, but the ringer didn't work. Every time one of us was near the phone, we'd answer "Hello?" Fifty percent of the time, there was somebody there. Usually a guy who wanted to fuck one of us. If a guy was REALLY good, we'd give out their parents' phone number, and they took messages. One morning, their dad came pounding on the door and said, "A guy named Jerome just called... and he didn't sound white."
So, there's four of us in this pigsty. Our clothing was kept in perfect condition, however. One day, their brother asked if his girlfriend, Joanne (soon dubbed Ho-anne) could stay for a while. Why not? The more the merrier. She didn't seem to suffer from the early morning drug and alcohol poisoning we had, so she took care of Bubba, and tidied up the joint. She got a little snippy after a few days, because we kept eating her food. Our attitude was, "Don't buy it if you don't want us to eat it." She just didn't understand. She ran to her boyfriend in tears because we kept using her towel. Again, if she didn't want us to use it, she shouldn't leave it out. We were always low on toilet paper, so we'd use scott towels. After we ran out of scott towels, we'd use stuff like Arby napkins. One day, I was drip drying while my sister and the other two looked for something to wipe with, and I grabbed Ho-ann's towel and wiped my pussy with it. We never bought toilet paper again.
We'd take turns being the "Designated Drunk". One night I was driving and my sister asked if I was okay. I said, "I'm relatively sober."
"Relative to what?" my sister said, then with PERFECT timing a woman walked out of the bar and puked into her cupped hands. "Relative to her," I said. I had to park the car and get out to lay down, I was laughing so hard.
We never spent a dime on food or drinks. We partied all night, every night and never opened our purses. The only things we bought were snacks at a 24 hour convenience store, on our way back to the apartment. One night, the three of them staggered in, while I sat in the car. They were taking forever. How long does it take to buy a bag of Cheetohs? So I beeped the horn. They ignored me so I beeped again. A man got out of his car, it's 3:00 am, and tells me to stop beeping the horn. I said okay, then as he started to go into the store, I beeped again. He comes running back to the car, I roll up the window, but I can hear him yelling, "Stop beeping the fuckin' horn; you're waking everybody UP!" I respond by beeping the horn.
By now, the three twisted sisters are out, and watching. He points his finger at me, "DON'T DO IT AGAIN!" Beeeep. "STOP it, goddammit." Beep. "Don't do it," Beep. At this point I'm doing it for my sister, because SHE'S laying on the sidewalk laughing. When he gave up and went in the store, I did a final teeny tiny "meep" as a farewell.
This apartment was trashed. There were open cans of Chef-Boy-R-Dee ravioli with spoons in it. I found one of my hot rollers in a carton of French onion chip dip. They had a "bladder challenged" Yorkshire terrier named Bubba who'd cry and whine to go outside, but we were all so hungover we'd ignore him until he peed on the floor. Eventually I rigged up a fishing pole so I could open the door wall and lower the little rat three floors down to pee.
We had a phone in the apartment, but the ringer didn't work. Every time one of us was near the phone, we'd answer "Hello?" Fifty percent of the time, there was somebody there. Usually a guy who wanted to fuck one of us. If a guy was REALLY good, we'd give out their parents' phone number, and they took messages. One morning, their dad came pounding on the door and said, "A guy named Jerome just called... and he didn't sound white."
So, there's four of us in this pigsty. Our clothing was kept in perfect condition, however. One day, their brother asked if his girlfriend, Joanne (soon dubbed Ho-anne) could stay for a while. Why not? The more the merrier. She didn't seem to suffer from the early morning drug and alcohol poisoning we had, so she took care of Bubba, and tidied up the joint. She got a little snippy after a few days, because we kept eating her food. Our attitude was, "Don't buy it if you don't want us to eat it." She just didn't understand. She ran to her boyfriend in tears because we kept using her towel. Again, if she didn't want us to use it, she shouldn't leave it out. We were always low on toilet paper, so we'd use scott towels. After we ran out of scott towels, we'd use stuff like Arby napkins. One day, I was drip drying while my sister and the other two looked for something to wipe with, and I grabbed Ho-ann's towel and wiped my pussy with it. We never bought toilet paper again.
We'd take turns being the "Designated Drunk". One night I was driving and my sister asked if I was okay. I said, "I'm relatively sober."
"Relative to what?" my sister said, then with PERFECT timing a woman walked out of the bar and puked into her cupped hands. "Relative to her," I said. I had to park the car and get out to lay down, I was laughing so hard.
We never spent a dime on food or drinks. We partied all night, every night and never opened our purses. The only things we bought were snacks at a 24 hour convenience store, on our way back to the apartment. One night, the three of them staggered in, while I sat in the car. They were taking forever. How long does it take to buy a bag of Cheetohs? So I beeped the horn. They ignored me so I beeped again. A man got out of his car, it's 3:00 am, and tells me to stop beeping the horn. I said okay, then as he started to go into the store, I beeped again. He comes running back to the car, I roll up the window, but I can hear him yelling, "Stop beeping the fuckin' horn; you're waking everybody UP!" I respond by beeping the horn.
By now, the three twisted sisters are out, and watching. He points his finger at me, "DON'T DO IT AGAIN!" Beeeep. "STOP it, goddammit." Beep. "Don't do it," Beep. At this point I'm doing it for my sister, because SHE'S laying on the sidewalk laughing. When he gave up and went in the store, I did a final teeny tiny "meep" as a farewell.
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